"Prudence: Do you not think sometimes of the country from whence you came?
Christian: Yes, but with much shame and detestation. 'Truly, if I had been mindful of that country from whence I came out, I might have had opportunity to have returned; but now I desire a better country, that is, an heavenly.'" (48 Pilgrim's Progress)
Lovers of mercy and grace,
It's now been a twice reoccuring trend for me to, when nearing an overseas flight home after months abroad, idolize and daydream of having a bed again, a change of clothes, the security of space I call my own, friends and family, a computer unlike this one on which I can type without nine middle-aged Asian birds looking over my shoulder and chirping on their cellphones, a bath, cereal, leisure. And last week, coming out of Cambodia and counting the days until home, I was swooned hard and seduced by thoughts like those listed above, so that I pictured each successive day upon my return filled with undeniable warmth and happiness - the English language, hugging people I know, real coffee, socks, a sense of belonging. I was lost in my daydreams!, and should have known better, as, when I returned two years ago after 10 months abroad, the tension of my expectations with the reality of home threw me for weeks into an awful mix-up.
But good comes out of loss, and God works all things good for those who profess his Son - even if they first write pithy blog entries about heartache coming from the loss of their phone in Cambodia! It was by grace two days ago that I was at first confronted and then uplifted by the thought that, until I daydream of heaven and life in my Lord's coming kingdom like I did so of home and seeing my friends and family again, all will inevitably come to a sigh, 'a chasing after the wind! meaningless, meaningless, meaningless.' And so while I yes long to be with you all in three days time, I've realigned what here I've called my daydreams to not manifest in the world - to not chase after the wind - but, by the yearning of my heart toward becoming Christlike, to take the God of Israel's kingdom as their backdrop.
My sister reminded me of as much just minutes ago:
"hey bro,
try not to get worked up about your phone
that's just satan working
it can be replaced.
see ya soon!
iloveyou
ash"
And I wish these typed words could outpour into you the joy that overcame me this morning in Hong Kong upon returning to church after Sundays away! Part of why I routed my flight home through Hong Kong was to return to a church located in a skyscraper on Hong Kong island called "The Vine," into which I was led two years ago after stumbling around mainland China for eight months. Two years ago, church at "The Vine" was my first English-speaking service after eight months of sitting in on Mandarin above-ground churches in mainland China. That Sunday morning sped my spirit, reviving it for the Spanish pilgrimage I then took up.
Yet all was even more this morning. I woke early and went to an Anglican service a short walk from my hostel, during which two of the songs that this summer I have continually woke to find singing in my head were sung - a special embrace, I think, from Him whom I love. I then quickly took the underground to make late service at "The Vine" - and I wish you all were there! I take refuge in worship, and, longing now for weeks to praise and be uplifted by a "corporate worship experience," the spirit-filled worship time at "The Vine" this morning was and will be reason, I think, to route every flight I take in the coming years through Hong Kong on a Sunday.
I've to run now, as soon my time on this computer will expire and the Asian birds behind me waiting for Internet I fear are plotting a coup. Until we meet next, perhaps my favorite two verses from a Psalm:
"Therefore let everyone who is godly
pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the might waters rise,
they will not reach him.
You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of
deliverance." Psalm 32:6-7
Love,
js
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